Monday, March 12, 2018


Said Nowe
Leo Burnett
Expressed their Regrett
To my Dismey
Said Ney
Offered a Contract
Then did a Retract
Said "No AvailabilUT"

Monday, November 28, 2016

The Capt. Subhash Patil Fan Club

You may have come across a talkative taxi driver, but a talkative pilot? On yesterday's Indigo flight from Trivandrum to Mumbai, Capt. Subhash Patil stepped out of the cockpit into the centre of the aisle, took the mic and took over the duties of the air-hostess. He greeted the passengers with the customary airline welcome, and then, surprise, surprise, he recited a poem he had written in which try rhymed with fly and sky. That was not all. After we were in the skies, he wielded the mic again for the customary cockpit address. In 4 languages. Malayalam, Marathi, Hindi and English. Later on, he pointed out Matheran, the racecourse and the Bandra-Worli Sea Link. And promised to meet us again when we disembarked. As we went past him at the door, the lady in front of me gushed at him, "You are the best commander I've ever flown with." I'm surprised there isn't a Facebook fan page for him.

Lymphosarcoma of the Economy

Demonetization is supposed to be a surgical strike on the cancer that is black money.

In a cancer surgery, the onco-surgeon skilfully excises the tumour from the body, making all efforts to keep the surrounding healthy organs intact.

Demonetizing 86% of the currency in circulation clearly does not do that. If black money is a cancer, demonetization is more akin to chemotherapy.

In chemotherapy, the toxic medicines do not distinguish between cancer cells and healthy cells. They just indiscriminately target all fast growing cells, since this is a characteristic of cancer cells. 

Unfortunately, this is also a characteristic of other healthy cells in the body, blood cells, for example. Chemotherapy kills those too.

As a result, the body also weakens. And it takes a long time for it to recover. Ask me, I’m a cancer survivor and I've been through chemo.

Demonetization is doing the same thing. It's attacking all money indiscriminately. Not just the 500 and 1000 rupee notes held by black money hoarders, but 500 and 1000 notes held by common citizens as well. Sure, black money hoarders are panicking. But the nation itself is taking a beating. Like the red blood cells so essential for our well-being that are destroyed by chemotherapy, these currency notes cannot be replenished fast enough by 100 and 2000 rupee notes. Productivity is suffering, commerce is suffering, daily wage earners are suffering.

And at the end of the day, chemotherapy is not a guaranteed cure. There are only probabilities. Just the same, demonetization is not a permanent solution to black money.

My cancer could be back. And so will black money.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

What? There’s 5 More Things You Didn’t Know About Parsi Surnames?

Will this series ever end? Nanabhoy, Nava.

1. We ruled India before the British

We ruled India before the British
Babar, Humayun, Akbar, Jahangir, Shah Jahan and Aurangzeb weren’t Parsi. But the Moguls are.

2. Ji…Ji…

Ajit Ninan
Meet the yes-men: Jeejeebhoy, Jijina, Jijicawna.

3. Is the Pope Parsi?

Is the Pope Parsi?
Via Indiatimes
Albless sounds like a surname derived from his occupation.

4. Fifty shades of red

Fifty shades of red
From left to right: Lal, Lall, Lala, Lalla, Lali, Laly, Lally, Lalkaka

5. This. Is. A. Parsi. Surname.

This. Is. A. Parsi. Surname.
Via Dreamstime

Oh No, Not Another 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Parsi Surnames

More useless trivia from your favourite Writer/Reporter/Khabardar (Pick appropriate Parsi surname)

1. Bajirao, yes. Mastani, no.

Bajirao, yes. Mastani, no.
SLB Productions / Via Youtube
Bajirao is a bonafide Parsi surname. Jai Maharashtra!

2. Chor Police

Chor Police
Via Udaipur Times
We have Inspectors, Darogas and Havaldars but no Chor. The closest we have is Chhor.

3. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Bh…Bh…Bh…Bh…Bhoot. It…It…It…It…It’s also a Parsi surname.

4. Who’s your Daddy?

Who's your Daddy?
Interscope Communications/Silver Screen Partners III/Touchstone Pictures
Dadyburjor? Dadyseth? Dadysethna? Dadi? Dadina? Dadinath? Dadimaster? Dadachanji? Dadabhoy?

5. Kandawalla marries Gheewalla. Becomes Vagharwalla.

Kandawalla marries Gheewalla. Becomes Vagharwalla.
Not. But if she remarries, she could become Vaghaiwalla.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Yet Another 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Parsi Surnames

I’m back with a Bangkokwala. Oops, that’s a Bohri surname.

1. Join Parsi Sena

Join Parsi Sena
Lancer Publishers
Sepoy, Subedar, Major, Captain, General. Army ranks and…you got it right…Parsi surnames.

2. What men!

What men!
ROZZcity / Via Youtube
In addition to Frenchman (see 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Parsi Surnames), we also have Messman, Chargeman and Coachman.


Via Google Images
D*** is a Parsi surname!

4. Master of all trades, jack of none

Master of all trades, jack of none
We have Master, Tarmaster, Paymaster, Cardmaster, but no Jack. Wait a minute, we do have Zack.

5. We go all the way back to the beginning of time

We go all the way back to the beginning of time
Michaelangelo / Via Wikipedia
And God created Adam. Bava-Adam.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Another 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Parsi Surnames

The last in a series of useless trivia. Tata!

1. What the f@#% is a workingbox?

What the f@#% is a workingbox?
The New Indian Express
I don’t think he knows too.

2. Kya baat karte ho, Panday ji?

Kya baat karte ho, Panday ji?
Dinodia / © DINODIA
Chulbul Panday wasn’t Parsi, but Bai Ruttonbai FD Panday was.

3. Hathi mere sathi

Hathi mere sathi
Jamshed Panthaki
Hathi, Hathidaru, Hathikhanawala, Hathiram. All Parsi surnames.

4. Kya keh rahe ho, miyan?

Kya keh rahe ho, miyan?
Mulla, Mirza, Khan, Aga are Parsi surnames too.

5. We love our drink. If the Parsi Peg isn’t proof enough, our surnames are.

We love our drink. If the Parsi Peg isn't proof enough, our surnames are.
Daruwalla. Toddywala. Rumwalla. Ginwalla? That’s related to cotton-ginning, not the drink.